Jana, I hope I can speak to you as an adult, I will be as gentle as possible. By the small amount of information I gather that: You were involved in premarital sex, with a man who doesn’t wont to be a Dad (“without a mother or farther”) and you realize what a mess that has gotten you into. You recognize you now have a baby (“keep my child”) and as far as you know the baby is fine. So now, let that be a learning experience and let’s move forward from there. The problem is, the baby is more of a threat to you, than a normal woman, because of your health. Jana, this is a choice you and you alone must make. If you ask for someone else to tell you what to do, one will say I would never kill my baby and another will say I could never let a fetus kill me, and on, and on, and on, then you’d be back where you started or, you would do one or the other, then never know if you made the right choice, because the one you made, wasn‘t yours. You didn’t say how much of a threat the child is to your life. So there are 3 questions I would ask myself. Am I willing to take a chance of having some minor health problems in order for my baby to live? Am I willing to take a chance of having some major health problems in order for my baby to live? Am I willing to take a chance of dieing in order for my baby to live? Very hard questions and you and you alone must answer them in order to find “the right choice“. Another way you could look at it is. If you are lying in a hospital bed, very sick with major health problems, but you could hold and love your baby and fill your baby‘s love for you, would you say, I made a mistake? If you were to die giving life to your child but, yet, you could give your baby (for adoption) to someone else to hold and love and feel that baby‘s love grow, would you say, I made a mistake? If you choice to end your Childs life, to protect your own, would you always say, I made the right choice? I sorry, I can’t tell you what to do, but no one can, you must decide. And Jana, God didn’t place this on you plate. He gave us rule to live by and the right to live by them, or brake them, but, if we brake them, we must suffer the consequences. Remember, ever decision, you make, has an affect on, your future. So don’t be so hard on God. Just ask for His forgiveness and then His help. Good Luck