I recently had a person come into my office who had tried numerous things to quit smoking and had failed every time. When I spoke with her about her past experiences, she told me about how horrible and “nervous” she felt while on Zyban / Wellbutrin which is something that many clients tell me.
In examining the reasons why she had not been able to stop smoking, I got an answer that seems strange when you think about it logically, but yet is a very common answer… fear of “losing my best friend”. How can something be your “best friend” when by your own report, you say you hate the sell, inconvenience and cost? She hated being controlled by cigarettes, but yet called them her “best friend”.
The answer surfaced very quickly once I made contact with the “inner smoker” and followed the chain of feelings to determine the “core feeling” was that the “inner smoker” was trying to get by smoking. It was about “love”. At the unconscious level, smoking was “love”. Any wonder it was hard to quit… love is a very basic human need.